keep it real

How many of us can say we stay true to ourselves? How many of us really know who we really are? I don't know who i really am, i mean i can put a set of words in which define who i think i really am, but thats only to myself. What do others think of me? What do others think of themselves? When was the last time someone thought not through their ego but through their Self, true Self. How can we all get to that stage, where life is nothing but simple equations, where clarity meets reality and complexity ceases to exist.

When was the last time you sat and felt your breath come in and out of your body? When was the last time you were in the present and didn't worry about the future or what happened in the past forgetting that those times will never be at the palm of your hands, at least in the way you imagine them. How many times have you noticed the raindrops falling into a puddle on the street? relating to that concept of falling into a puddle and becoming that entity that is what we call the 'bigger picture' or reality, but for those few seconds that you fall from the cloud above and soar down to your destined puddle, your aware, you can see the horizon in the distance, a vast gray of raindrops that are going about the adjustment of the so called norm or reality and for once in your life you are the essence of your being. We can all be raindrops forever, we don't have to hit the puddle so soon, hell ever the puddle at all. We could be ourSelves if we just kept it real. 

i've been sick.

For the past 4 days i seemed to have fallen into the pits of stress and anxiety due to so many things. Pin pointing exactly what they may be should be an easy task, if looked in a taoist way, but unfortunately it isn't. However, i do feel fortunate for simply having the ability to take notice in the piled up stress and not letting it really latch on to my mind so easily, but who am i to say it hasn't already,i mean i am blogging about it (who would care?). 

Reflection has been the primary concern during these days, but i've come to realize that reflecting and dwelling are two totally different approaches to drifting. In all honesty, dwelling is where i stand not because i really want to but because i sub-conscioussly do it, which is probably the WORST thing one can have. Slowly but surely the seams are restitching and my life is starting to take form again, hate to sound so morbid and pity but thats just how it is. 

Anyone would has ever fallen into the dreary sub-consciouss mind of  minor depression or anxiety, pick back up and erase it from your life, if not, your a pathetic waste of life and weak.   

laziness

I get splashed with the feeling of laziness, why?
is this too boring? well, come up with something better...

Naturalist tendencies.

I've had the itching urge of getting away somewhere, anywhere that was just far away. To hold that freedom in my hands and do what i wished with it for the rest of my life. It might sound like i'm wishing, or asking to change my immediate life at the moment, but i'm not. I'm completely content with all that is occuring in my life regarding university, friends, family, but i yearn for something a bit more 'me'. What i mean is that, i miss taking long hikes with my friends in the Santa Monica Mountains and getting lost for hours hoping we didnt get mauled by moutain lions.

John Muir, one of the most influencial Scottish-American naturalists that was ever bestowed on this earth. He fought for the realization and awarness of nature and it's beauty. Sierra Neveada was really where he resided in his journey toward saving the the forests and soon enough was proclaimed his own trail, the 'John Muir Trail' in Yosemite Valley. Man, how i would give anything to do what he did. He hiked the mountains and climbed to the tallest peaks and wrote letters about his experiences. Dharma Bums a book written by Jack Kerouac, explains Jack's adventure from his home town in the eastcoast to the mountains of California all relating to John Muir's letters.

I've made a promise to myself, that once i get settled with a career and hopefully a steady finacial position, i'm going to drop everything for a summer and possibly the winter and train-hop my way around the states and just photograph and write. You all are my witnesses.    

where's your head at?

Where have your thoughts been lately? How has the current been treating you? Has it gone in your favor, or against it? It's a trip to think that a thought could be seen as a leech of sorts, an almost physical organism that latches on to your mind and injects this substance that can have you feeling like your on top of the world or so low, there's no way back up. I'd like to hope that anyone who reads these posts gives these principles a chance, just to see if the commercial thoughts that we all have on a day to day can be penetrated with something that isn't seen by many and is in fact beneficial toward one's growth, so i believe.

Thoughts tend to be somewhat of a 'snowball effect' with some people. The more and more we dive into the that state of possesion of the mind, our perceptions are warped, clarity ceases to exist, and the heart is overwhelmed by the violent shouts of the mind. We all need to remember that the mind is the Devil's Workshop, no matter how we old we are or how expierinced we think we are, we are still prone to sensless and meaningless thoughts that could in reality change the current we are meant to go with.

Think of your life as if you lived in a fish bowl. Your happy, in your bubble of thoughts and feelings, when suddenly a little boy comes and stirs the bowl with a stick, making all the dirt and rocks move in a brutal swirl. Life at that moment is confusing (bad thoughts) and theres nothing left to do BUT let the debris settle (The mind) once this happens we realize the clarity that has shown itself not through waiting,  but purposely disciplining the mind into saying certain thoughts are not worth your energy and time. Find yourself if your lost, dig your roots deep into the ground, and keep your life in your heart, not your mind.

Peace.

 

on a funnier note

my friend and i were were discussing reincarnation last night, and well the conversation took a turn for the best! he suggested, "There are so many things you can be reincarnated into, a fly, a roach, even a shrimp, BUT what if.... just what if you were reincarnated into a COUGH!?"  the overarching concept of that happening has me rolling til today! genius.

get rid of your judgements.

This past year has given me quite a bit of insight in how i percieve different people and their personalities. I've come to realize that the qualities one can see (particularly the ones we dont like in ourselves) are projected onto people we do not know.. through our ego's. Subconscioussly, i tend to show my insecurities through the act of judging, this leading to events that occur in my daily life and arise questions such as, "What kind of person am i really?" i'd like to think i'm compassionate for others and i practice mindfullness, but when i disect the way i percieve people i don't know, the "I" truely reveals itself. Relinquish your ego's and end all your judgements, they are not healthy spiritually and in fact attract negativity into one's life and enviornment.